Go away, Lemmings!

So, it's the second day of my maths degree, and I've already missed lectures. Apparently, good intentions aren't enough to stop a crippling attack of freshers' flu... I'm starting to feel like I might actually be dying, like the times that I'm hungover and I start to panic that "oh my god maybe it's not just a hangover maybe it's meningitis because my head hurts and my neck hurts and bright lights hurt my eyes, and I've heard stories of students dying from meningitis because they never sought medical attention cos they thought it was a hangover and I'm going to die all because I'm too unorganised to sort out getting my meningitis jab ". But then usually I'll have a bacon sandwich and feel much better, and promise myself that the next day I'll ring up the doctor to book a meningitis vaccination so I don't panic quite so much the next time I'm hungover, but then by the next day I feel fine so thoughts of meningitis jabs don't even cross my mind.

A bit like that, only I don't even have the blurry memories/facebook photos/lingering taste of vodka that are the mark of a good night out. Remember the computer game Lemmings? Those lemmings with the pickaxes, that dug their way through walls? I'm pretty sure I've got a whole army of them camped out in my skull, trying to work their way out through my forehead. Only they're doing it at an extraordinarily slow pace, because that way it'll be even more painful, and will last so much longer! Thanks lemmings!

At the same time this freshers' flu seems to have decided that it wants to make breathing as difficult as possible, by stuffing my nose with as much snot as it can manage, and wrapping itself round my lungs and squeezing them as hard as it possibly can. Whilst this is extremely uncomfortable, its also a good excuse not to do any exercise, as I'm pretty sure I'd die within a few minutes as a result of being put into an acute hypoxic state.

The most insulting part is the coughing. For someone who used to smoke 20 cigarettes a day and now smokes none, it seems somewhat unfair that I'm coughing more than I'm breathing. I think my lungs are trying to make a bid for freedom everytime I open my mouth, despite the fact that if they did manange to escape they'd be inside out and soon die without oxygen. I wish they'd realise that actually they're supposed to be in my thorax, and stop bitching about what a horribly warm and cosy place they live in. And diaphragm, stop trying to help them. Without those lungs you are nothing.

I promise to write something with a more interesting subject matter when I am less of a sniffley, wheezy, headachey, lemsip-craving mess.

HOW many clothes?!

So, I'm packing all my stuff to go back to Uni tomorrow.... this particular packing experience has forced me to come to the realisation that I have a ridiculous amount of clothing. I could clothe a whole village with all of this stuff. Is there really any need for multiples of the same item in different colours? Or three variations on the denim short? Or TWELVE pairs of pyjamas?!
I dread to think the amount of money I have spent on clothes. I think if I knew the actual number I might have a heart attack and die. Perhaps I should start to ration the number of trips to Primark.....

The Bucket List

For those who haven't seen the film (if that's you, you're missing out - Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman make quite the team), the idea is that this is a list of things I want to do before I kick the bucket. No doubt there's still plenty of stuff I'd like to add to this, but here's a start.....

1. Go to Disneyland, at least three more times

2. Visit Hawaii

3. Go to the Natural History Museum, and see the dinosaur skeletons

4. Own a green Lotus Elise

5. Sing in front of people at least one more time

6. Get a first class degree

7. Visit Japan

8. Get tattooed by Kat Von D

9. Walk the whole of the Great Wall of China

10. Get married

11. Learn another language

12. Go to Australia and hold a koala bear

13. Make a scrapbook

14. Learn to play at least one piece by Ludovico Einaudi

15. Change someone's life for the better

16. Read Lord of the Rings all the way through

17. Swim with dolphins

18. Own a pet snake, and call him Napoleon II, in memory of my Dad's childhood pet, Napoleon Tadpoleon Bone-in-parts (may he rest in peace)

19. Solve a Rubix cube

20. Watch the sun rise with someone I love

Be Brave. Live.

The problem with getting your first tattoo is that it leaves you always wanting more. I've got three so far, and am in the process of planning my next..... the simple notion of "be brave. live".

The quote itself comes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and in its entirety reads:

The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.

Be Brave.

Live.

The first time I heard those words they really struck a chord in me - too often I find myself getting bogged down in life, in worries, in the uncertainty of it all. I find it very hard to let things go, particularly if I don't understand them. And whilst I think it's a bad idea to not think things through, or to ignore anything that's bothering me, I need to learn how to move on. By dwelling on the past I'm hurting myself, and I'm hurting my relationships.

So I need to BE BRAVE. I need to change my way of thinking, and most importantly change the way I let my thoughts control my emotions. I need to stop getting caught up in my own head, and stop letting the world go by. I need to start making the most of what I've got, and be happy for all the amazing things, and most importantly all the AMAZING PEOPLE I have in my life.

BE BRAVE

LIVE

My very first blog....

So, my first ever blog entry. But what to put? I doubt you want to hear about my day, my plans for the rest of the weekend, what I had for breakfast.... those things are far too mundane for a blog, yes? So how about this, let's talk about the future.

Thinking about the future can bring up so many different feelings, emotions.... for some people, it's terrifying. For others, it's exciting. To be completely honest, I'm not too sure what it is for me. I'm having a complete turn around, a u-turn in my life. I've spent the last three years at medical school, working hard and going nowhere. I decided it was time for a change, a fresh start, a new beginning. So I've switched courses, and am about to start all over again, as a fresher on Mathematics BSc. Maths, you say? Why would you give up a career as a doctor to do maths? The simple answer is, because I love love love maths. I love maths because I know what to expect. Things are logical, they have rules and can be proven by those rules. And, as so eloquently put in Mean Girls, it's the same in every country.

I know this is something I can do well in, and I'm excited to start. But if I'm gonna make the most of it, I need to make some big changes to my life... and I'm terrified of where those changes may take me. 

To the future.....