So it’s Halloween weekend, which means that the average
Facebook news feed is inundated with pictures of pumpkins, parties, and of
course, costumes. But alas, once again such fun and games has been accompanied
by a plethora of bitchiness – the annual complaint of “girls who dress like
sluts just because it’s Halloween”.
Now, my opinions about the phrase “dress like sluts” would
really need a blog post of their very own, so I won’t do them a disservice by
summarising here. What I will do, is marvel at the female tendency to put other
women down. This blog was prompted not by the judging of costumes, but by some
of the comments that followed; in particular, reading about how “unattractively
skinny” some of the scantily clad partygoers are.
Now the double standard surrounding the topic of weight has
bugged me for quite a while – ever since I heard the phrase “real women”, often
used to describe women larger than the size 0 we see on the catwalks. The
choice of the word “real” has always baffled me. If a woman is smaller than a
size 8, is she imaginary? If she is flat chested and narrow hipped, must she be
made out of plastic?
It seems to me that the phrase was coined in order to boost
the self esteem of those who don’t fit into the tall, skinny, supermodel mould.
I’m all for promoting a healthy body image, but why choose a word that has
negative implications for those who DO fit the media’s ideal?
Of course, this is a fairly mild example. I have seen words
of a much more vindictive nature splashed across the internet. Here are a couple of examples....
FYI, as beautiful as Marilyn was, she was not the norm for her era. Google Grace Kelly, Tippi Hedren and Audrey Hepburn if you don't believe me.I struggle to see how such things could promote a healthy
body image; they are clearly defining curvy as good, skinny as bad. Not only
that, there is a huge emphasis on looking good for a man, rather than just
being happy with ourselves.
I have some major problems with posts such as the ones
above. Firstly, would someone who was truly content with their appearance feel
the need to post material of such a hostile nature? I’m going to take a guess
at..... no. It’s the classic “the bully only punches you in the face because
he’s insecure” idea. I suspect that the women who create and repost such images
are the ones who are least happy with their bodies – the ones who need to put others
down to feel better about themselves.
Secondly, the HUGE double standard. Post a picture with some
“witty” remark about bigger girls being better looking than skinny girls, and
your comments section will quickly show a selection of female friends
applauding your support of the curvy girl. Post a picture with the opposite
message, and I doubt the reaction would be quite so encouraging. I suspect you
would be attacked for putting down bigger girls, promoting eating disorders,
and reinforcing the media’s idea of “perfection”.
But why? Why does society say it’s OK to hate on the skinny
girls, but God forbid you pass judgement on someone who is bigger, possibly even
overweight?
The growing trend for “fat acceptance” is not just an
internet phenomenon. It’s become almost a social taboo to comment on the
appearance or diet of someone who is overweight, yet us skinnies have to deal
with such remarks on a regular basis. Here’s a few examples of comments I’ve
received, and corresponding (yet socially unacceptable) remarks that could be
made about the other end of the spectrum....
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TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE
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HOW DARE YOU
|
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OMG you’re so skinny I can
see your bones, that’s disgusting
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OMG you’re so fat I can see
your rolls, that’s disgusting
|
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OMG you’re only eating a
salad for lunch, you need to eat more
|
OMG you’re eating a
cheeseburger and chips for lunch, you need to eat less
|
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OMG you’ve just eaten a
whole pizza, how are you so skinny?
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OMG you’ve only eaten an
apple, how are you so fat?
|
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OMG you’re so skinny it
can’t be healthy, eat some cake
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OMG you’re so fat you probably
have heart disease, eat lettuce
|
Commenting on the health of an overweight person is a social
no-no, but why should it be? People have been reprimanding smokers for years;
I’ve lost count of the number of complete strangers who’ve decided to lecture
me on the health risks of smoking – as if I didn’t already know. Yet, whilst the
cost to the NHS of obesity related illness rivals that of smoking, it still
wouldn’t be acceptable for me to walk into a McDonald’s and tell every overweight
person in there that they were eating themselves into a future of high blood
pressure, diabetes and heart disease. If I did, I’d probably get punched in the
face.
The trend for fat acceptance can also be seen on the high
street and online clothing stores. Not only do most shops contain a plus
size section (and routinely go up to sizes 16/18 in their standard ranges), we
have a whole host of specialist plus sizes stores – Evans, Yours, and Simplybe
are a few examples, all of which go up to a size 32.
But what is there at the other end of the spectrum? I can
tell you from experience – nothing. As someone who wears a size 4, I find it
extremely difficult to find clothes that fit – most places don’t go below a
size 6 (some not even below an 8), and those that do stock size 4 tend to have a
limited selection. More often than not, I end up buying clothes from the
children’s section.
So why do we have specialist stores for one extreme, but not
the other? I struggle to see how there could be any health considerations – I’m
not saying that being superskinny has no health consequences, but I challenge
you to find me a doctor who’d say there are no risks associated with being as
big as a size 32.
Now I’m not advising that the skinny girls of the world should
hit back with their very own anti-curvy Facebook campaign. Nor that we should
start calling out all the overweight people in the world on their diets, and
tell them to eat lettuce.
What I am saying, is that people should stop and think about
what they say to others or post on Facebook. Yes, I’m skinnier than a lot of
people. Does that mean I deserve to see posts about how men don’t find women of
my size attractive? That my body type is disgusting, and only good enough for
the dogs? Is my size an open invitation for people to comment on the way I
look, and whatever I do or do not eat? The size 0’s of this world don’t come
under the media’s heading of “real women”, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have
real feelings.
In conclusion ladies.... be nice to each other. Stop putting
each other down, just because you’re not happy with yourselves. And for God’s
sake, stop telling yourself that being attractive to men is what’s important. No
man worth your time will give a rat’s behind about the size of yours.
